"Two Steps Forward, One Step Back"

Ah, the old motto of the NICU. It is coming back to haunt us yet again. Just when I think lots of forward progress is being made, we encounter a little setback, and I get so discouraged.

Eli has been eating pretty well for the past two months. He ate decent amounts from each bottle and small amounts of baby food. This was huge progress for us, and we were so excited. But then in the past two weeks he's been going downhill. He only wants a little bit of each bottle, and he refuses to eat even a bite from a spoon. Just when our GI was starting to be pleased with Eli's growth and his feeding therapist was praising all his improvements, he took a step back.

I am so frustrated, and so tired of dealing with a kid with eating issues. I am so eager for this to be resolved. I am trying to remind myself that this is not the end of the world, that eventually we'll get all this figured out, that I have a ton to be thankful for... but this is just plain hard. I don't want to pretend otherwise.

We are praying so much that Eli begins to pick back up with his eating so that his good growth doesn't slow and so that a feeding tube does not become our only option. Will you join us in these prayers?

In all other ways, Eli is doing great. He is into everything- crawling everywhere, pulling up on everything, putting anything he can find into his mouth. He is incredibly happy, super sweet, and an amazingly good sleeper. Maybe he's regressed a little in his eating because he's been so focused on crawling and cruising. Or maybe it's his teeth, which are finally making their appearance. I am trying to focus on the positives and praise God for all the work He has done in Eli's life so far, even when feeding issues are just plain wearing me out.

We're going away this weekend with the whole family for our annual spring camping trip. I hope that it is refreshing and relaxing for all of us and that I can come back with renewed energy and patience to work with Eli on his eating. Maybe soon we'll take "two steps forward" in the eating area. Two steps forward and no steps back.