A New Approach

With continuing feeding/appetite problems and a feeding tube looming in Eli's near future, Eric and I have become determined to exhaust all options before giving in to the GI doctor placing a feeding tube through Eli's nose into his tummy. As we were laying in bed talking the other night we thought of a naturopathic doctor that several people we know have been to. His approach is decidedly "off the beaten path," to put it euphemistically, but from everything we've heard he knows what he's doing and always meets with success. We figured we'd give it a try. It can't hurt, and it might just help.

I called yesterday morning just to ask a few questions, and they happened to have a cancellation for that very afternoon. I really loved the office staff, and the doctor was very kind and very knowledgeable. I won't even go into his methods, because they're too hard to describe and I have no idea what I'm talking about, but at the end of the visit he knew what was wrong and knew how to fix it. He handed us these two bottles of therapeutic supplements, gave us instructions on mixing and dosing, and sent us on our merry way. And supposedly in a few days we'll begin to see improvement in Eli's growth, appetite, and reflux.

I am very hopeful, although I'm trying to take it all with a grain of salt, because I honestly don't know the best approach with Eli's health. I do know, however, that traditional medicine has left us with a feeding aversion and little to no growth, so trying out alternative medicine can't hurt anything, for sure! I also know that we have prayed so diligently for wisdom and guidance as to the best way to treat Eli, and the Lord will choose to bring him through this is His time. We'll just keep on trying our best and waiting on the Lord, who is loving, good, and wise.

We are definitely praying that this new approach works, because we still don't feel at peace about a feeding tube. However, we do know that it is crucial that Eli start eating and growing soon, so if this approach does not work, the feeding tube is the way to go. And we're okay with that- we just want what is best for our little boy! Still... I'll say one more time that we're praying that this new approach works! Please join us!

Tomorrow we're going to have a "modified barium swallow" done for Eli to make sure that he's not aspirating anything into his lungs when he eats, which could potentially contribute to his feeding aversion. I am eager to rule this out, but I'm also eager to keep my son healthy during cold/RSV season, so we're praying so hard that Eli doesn't catch any germs during our time in the outpatient radiology department at the hospital tomorrow! He's already fighting a cold, so we don't want to compound the problem at all.

Friday we're going back to see the oral therapist, who will continue to help Eli overcome his aversion. Ah, the journeys I make with this kid. I've got the layout to every hospital building in Dallas memorized by now! But he is so worth it!

Thank you for your prayers for our little guy! I can't wait until he's old enough to understand when I tell him about the power of prayer carrying him through. He will thank you someday, I know. And until then, please accept the heartfelt gratitude of his mommy, who treasures the prayers of her dear family and friends on behalf of her precious son.

Not-So-Fun Way to Spend a Saturday

On Saturday I came down with the stomach bug that has been plaguing our family and friends for a week now. I thought I used enough hand sanitizer to ward off the plague, but I was wrong. I was brought down by a little germ.

Fortunately it hit over the weekend, so Eric was here to take care of Eli. I spent the entirety of Saturday in our bedroom (and much of it in the bathroom, unfortunately!), forbidden to come near Eli. We are so afraid of him catching any kind of stomach bug- he eats so little as it is; he can't afford to lose any fluid at all or he'll quickly become dehydrated and land himself in the ER, which carries it's own host of problems.

Anyway, while I endured the joys of a stomach bug, Eric played with Eli and was Mr. Mom for the day. It brought a smile to my [green] face every time I heard Eli's squeals of laughter from the next room. He loves his Daddy! But NOT as much as he loves Mommy, I must add! :) I walked into the living room one time during the day, just to look at Eli because I missed him so much. Eli quickly became very excited, then quickly started fussing because I wasn't picking him up, and then started screaming for me with tears streaming down his face. Eric swiftly shooed me back to the bedroom so that he could calm Eli down. :)

It was heart-breaking but also very rewarding. I love that I am my son's favorite person! Selfish, probably, but I'm going to take it while I can get it! :) Soon enough he'll be running after Daddy, fishing, camping, riding bikes, building forts, playing frisbee golf... all of which I want for him so deeply. But for now, while he's a baby, let him be his mommy's boy.

We're just praying (please join us!) that Eli doesn't catch this stomach bug, and that he continues to increase his feedings and gain weight!!! Thank you so much for all your prayers!

Baby's First Christmas

Christmas is definitely more fun with a baby. It was such a joy for Eric and I to experience this Christmas with Eli.

On Christmas Eve both Eli and I caught the cold that Eric was just recovering from, but fortunately Eli didn't seem too phased by it. Eli and I spent the day here at home, listening to Christmas music and baking and taking naps (him, not me!).

After Eric got home we let Eli open his Christmas Eve gift- pajamas. This is our tradition- one gift on Christmas Eve, and it's always pjs. Predictable, yes, but still fun! After Eli's bath, Eric read him the Christmas story and rocked him to sleep.

Kelly and Phil (sister and brother-in-law) came over for dinner- New York strip steaks, mashed potatoes, fancy salad, cranberry prosecco cocktails, and chocolate cheesecake for dessert. We had a really nice time! Before the babies were born we would spend Christmas Eve at Houston's steakhouse, which we missed, but I must say that I enjoyed this just as much. It was great to be with people we love in the coziness of our own home and eat awesome food.

After they left Eric and I made mojitos, ate cake, and watched It's a Wonderful Life (best Christmas movie ever!). We opened the pjs we gave each other, read the Christmas story, and went to bed so happy and thankful for our warm little house, our wonderful marriage, our precious son sleeping in the next room, and, most of all, for the gift of our Savior Jesus Christ.

On Christmas morning we brought Eli to bed with us and were just so happy to think of all the Christmases in our future with Eli running to wake us up early in the morning to open presents. It is so fun to have a kid at Christmas! We opened presents here at home, Eli took a little nap, and then we headed to my parents' house for our big family Christmas. It was wonderful as always- so many presents, so much joy, such precious little babies lying in the midst of all the wrapping paper! My mom served us brunch, and then we headed out to the White family Christmas (Eric's mom's side of the family).

This was big and loud and so perfect- kids everywhere, presents piled floor to ceiling, all the food you can imagine... Eli did great, laughing and talking with everyone, not showing a single sign of being sick, which I was so happy about!

After we came home and put Eli to bed (which was s piece of cake, as he was exhausted after the busy day!) we watched the Nativity and ate dinner with my parents and Kelly and Phil. It was the perfect Christmas, and I look forward to so many more with my dear little family.

Sorry for the boring post! :) I hope you guys had a merry Christmas as well, celebrating the birth of our precious Savior.

Christmas Adam

Any guesses what the title means? I think perhaps only people with the last name (or maiden name) "Bergstrom" will get it right. :)

A few things...

1. Thank you so much for praying for Eli! Please continue to pray. We have good days and bad days. The good days fill us with hope that we can avoid a feeding tube and make it through this oral aversion. The bad days (like Monday) leave me frazzled and exhausted and ready to give in and get a feeding tube. What's the best thing? Only God knows, so we're praying and praying for wisdom. It will be clearer once we see if Eli has continued to gain weight. Anyway, all that to say that we really need your prayers still! Thank you so much!

2. How do you prevent your child getting sick when you and your husband are sick? Really- I need to know! :) Eric came home with a cold that he caught at work last week, and now I have it, and we are just praying that Eli doesn't get it. Nearly impossible, considering that I kiss him about 9 million times a day and take care of his every need. Oh well- such is life! I just hope he doesn't have it over Christmas!

3. I made a huge mess in the kitchen today preparing my elaborate Christmas Eve dessert... a chocolate cheesecake layer cake. Sounds good, no? We shall see- the layers are in my fridge, awaiting assembly. The true test of whether or not it is good is if Eric says it was worth it to clean the fine layer or powdered sugar off of every surface in our kitchen once I finished. :)

4. Pleeeeease comment! I hear from so many of you that you read our updates on the blog, but I don't ever know that until I happen to talk to you! Throw me a bone! :)

Love to you all!!!

News

Eli's latest...

1. Thumb-sucking! He's been a hand-chewer forever, but in the past week he has been resorting more and more to just his thumb. It is precious- I am so partial to thumb-sucking babies. Who cares if it's a bad habit to have to break? I'll worry about that in a couple years. :) It's also a treat for me because he uses his thumb to comfort himself now, which I'm super-happy about, because he's never been a paci fan.

2. Waving. I haven't been sure about this one and haven't even mentioned it to anyone because I thought his little "waves" were just coincidences. But this weekend Eric said, "Is he waving at us?" as we stood across the room and Eli held up his hand, opening and closing his fingers, while smiling at us. Confirmed. The baby is a waver. It's so cute! (I'm a little biased.)

3. Sitting. He discovered the use of his stomach muscles weeks ago, which makes getting him to lie back in my arms, on a pillow, etc., very difficult, because he immediately just sits right up. I've been working on getting him to sit on his own, but he usually just falls right over. But this week he sat up on his own for several 10-second increments! I know, not that amazing, but hey, what can I say? I'm his mom, and I'm proud!

4. Church-ing. Eli has been in "hibernation" since October. Because he is a premie and had lung issues, he's at super-high-risk for RSV and other lung infections. We keep him home and away from crowds pretty much all the time, which means that Eric and I alternate weeks when it comes to church so that one of us can stay home with Eli. I hate that we have to do this, but it is worth it to keep Eli healthy through the winter. Today we made an exception for the Christmas service at church. It is the best service of the year, and we really, really wanted to go as a family. So we came late (on purpose) and left early to avoid anyone touching or breathing on him, but we got to enjoy the service all together, and it was really special.

Wow, what an invigorating post, right? Ah, the life of a mom. :) Truth be told, though, I LOVE IT!!!

And in other news, Eric took me out for my birthday on Friday night while my parents kept Eli. He took me to this little French bistro called "St. Martin's," which was super romantic. You know, the kind of place where all the light is from candles, there is a piano player, the waiter puts your napkin on your lap, you eat a 3-course-meal... it was so perfect! Then we went to the Meyerson to see the Dallas symphony orchestra and chorus do their annual Christmas performance. We go every year, and every year I am blown away. It was a perfect date!

Happy almost Christmas!

Therapy

Today we went to see the occupational therapist. (My uncle said, "Eli is just a baby- how will the therapist know what his occupation should be?" The corny sense of humor is in the Bergstrom genes, for sure.) It was a slightly annoying waiting period- we had to register in the hospital system and meet with an insurance guy and then spend quite some time waiting for the therapist, who was running really late. I was told to bring Eli "hungry" so that the therapist could watch him eat, and the appointment fell right in the middle of Eli's nap time. So, needless to say, I had a very fussy baby on my hands! It was frustrating, but I'm glad we waited through it. I just felt bad for the therapist having to talk over his whining the whole time. :)

Anyway, the therapist's name is Lisa, and she's great! She's an Aggie, class of '02 (a year ahead of me), and she was really friendly and helpful and gave me a lot of hope about Eli overcoming this oral aversion. She watched Eli refuse to eat and labeled him as "moderately to severely aversive"- I could have told her that! :) She ordered a test to make sure Eli isn't aspirating anything he's eating, which we'll have done in the next week or two, and she gave us a few "toys" to play with at home, along with a plan for how to work with him until we see her again. Basically, it took him 7 months to learn this aversion, and it will take almost as long to un-learn it! But eventually he'll be eating just like a normal kid! And all of this will be worth it. I'm really thankful for such a kind, sweet, understanding therapist to help us through it.

She recommended, if Eli does end up needing a feeding tube, that he not have an NG-tube but rather a G-tube (surgically inserted in the belly) so that his aversion doesn't increase. This just confirmed to me that I need to keep praying for and working on Eli's weight gain so a tube can be avoided altogether!

Please continue to pray that Eli eats well, in increasing amounts, and gains plenty of weight for the next visit! I would love to see him weigh 13 pounds!

On a side note, I discovered the thing that amuses Eli the most of all things so far: my cell phone camera. Go figure, right? :) We were in a car dealership for hours yesterday (we were able to trade in our old breaking-down car for a newer, more reliable one! Praise God!), and I was searching for anything to keep him entertained. Out came the phone, and, to my surprise, every time I clicked the button to snap a picture, he laughed so hard! It was really echo-y in the dealership, and everyone who walked by commented on how happy he was. It was adorable. I now have about 60 blurry, unidentifiable pictures on my phone. :) I loved hearing him laugh so hard.

Thank you so much for all your prayers and encouragement. All the comments here and on Facebook, all the e-mails, all the phone calls, all the acts of service toward us- all of it has been so instrumental in helping me through this somewhat trying time. Thank you for investing in our lives and for caring about us and for understanding my heart. I can't tell you how grateful I am. A simple comment on a blog is enough to bring tears to my eyes, not to mention the calls and e-mails and everything else. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Love to you all!

Amazed

After we talked to Eli's doctor last week, I felt relieved and just a little sad. But as I thought more and researched more about a possible naso-gastric (NG) feeding tube for Eli, I became increasingly concerned about it. It just didn't sound to me like the best option for Eli. Though I was willing to do whatever the doctor said he needed, my mother's instinct was telling me that a feeding tube was something we needed to avoid, at least until we had some time to work with the therapist to help him overcome his aversion.

Anyway, at the same time as these concerns came up, my Grandmom sent me a chapter she copied out of a book on prayer. The chapter discussed the "prayer of relinquishment," and it really hit home. I could go on and on, but I'll just summarize by saying that I hadn't been relinquishing this desire so close to my heart (that Eli eat and gain weight) to the Lord. Rather, I had been making demands of Him that He fix the situation, and this was only serving to put up a wall between me and the Lord. When I read this chapter and truly "relinquished" this situation to God, I immediately felt so much peace and freedom. I felt the presence of God with me in this like I hadn't felt for so long. I felt calm and assured that God knows me and Eli, loves me and Eli, and will do what is truly best for me and Eli. My heart was truly "guarded" with the peace of God (Philippians 4).

Also, I figured out that if I feed Eli while he sleeps, he will eat without a fight. So instead of battling him on the every-2-hour schedule like I had been, I simply waited until it was time for his naps, rocked him to sleep, and then fed him easily and quickly. It was such a relief to not have to fight him! And I was able to slowly increase his feedings each day so that he was eating more per day than he was last week.

I spent this week working on Eli's feedings and really praying that God would allow Eli to gain enough weight that the doctor would postpone putting a feeding tube in him, which would give us enough time to work with the therapist and to continue to pray.

We went to the doctor today and I felt so nervous. I still felt uneasy about a feeding tube, and I was scared to see the numbers on the scale. I was praying for unwavering faith- the kind that believes that God answers specific prayers and, more than that, believes that He will do what is best. But still- I was nervous!

We got there and got Eli all undressed and plopped him on the little length-measuring board thing, and he grew 1/4 inch in one week! Good news so far. And then for the moment of truth- onto the scale Eli went. I closed my eyes, praying to see a 3-ounce gain from last week's 11 pounds, 10.5 ounces. The nurse happily exclaimed, "Hey, he gained some weight!" I looked down, and there it was- TWELVE POUNDS AND HALF AN OUNCE! Eli gained SIX OUNCES in one week! My eyes filled with tears- Eric and I were beaming.

I know it sounds silly for me to be excited about a 6-ounce weight gain, when that is really pretty normal for a baby, but to me that is HUGE! Eli has never, ever gained that much in one week, and he only gained 4 ounces total last month! So 6 ounces in a week was enough to amaze me. Not only did God answer my prayers- He doubled the number I'd been praying for! There is no way Eli could have gained 6 ounces apart from the Lord- God truly accomplished this for us, and I am amazed.

The doctor was equally amazed! :) She came in expecting to place a feeding tube and instead said, "Well, this throws me for a loop!" She was so impressed with the weight gain that she decided to just let us go to therapy this week and in the following weeks, continue to feed him like we are, and come back for a follow-up in 3 weeks. Just exactly like I prayed!

We will go back to see the doctor in a few weeks to re-evaluate Eli's feeding/weight gain situation. If he continues to gain weight steadily (even if it's slowly), we can avoid a feeding tube. Our prayers are...

1. That our time with the oral therapist is fruitful: That she can help Eli overcome his feeding aversion quickly so that he can increase the amount he eats and eat without a fight.
2. That we can continue to make progress on our own with Eli's feedings: That we can continue to patiently feed him and slowly increase his intake.
3. That Eli continues to quickly gain weight so that when we go back in 3 weeks he'll be almost 13 pounds.
4. That we can completely avoid the feeding tube.

Will you join us in praying for these things? It is truly prayer that has carried us through this situation thus far. We are so grateful.