Sunday, February 22, 2009

Not So Safe and Very Sorry!

Oh, the tears that flowed at our house this morning. Eli had his fair share, but I think I could have drowned him with all of mine! Why, you ask? Oh, I am ashamed to admit it, but here goes... Eli scooted himself off of our bed and onto the floor this morning! And who was the one who put him there on the bed and left him unattended for a moment? MOMMY. Yes, terrible, horrible, guilt-ridden Mommy.

In my sorry defense, Eli is not really "mobile" yet (or at least not until this morning!). He has never even come close to rolling or scooting or crawling off of our bed, which I place him on regularly while I wash my hands, put on my jewelry, etc. And I always place him close to the center so that if he did fall over from sitting up, he wouldn't fall off the edge.

But, alas, today was the day that he decided to go from sitting up to lying on his tummy, and from lying on his tummy to some sort of scoot, and from a scoot to the floor. The thud that I heard was the worst sound in the world, and I immediately burst into tears as I picked him up and comforted him. He was upset, of course, but easily calmed, and I could find no bumps, bruises, or other injuries. I watched him like a hawk for hours afterward, making sure that he wasn't acting wierd at all, and he was (and is) his normal, happy, active self. (I, however, cried for quite a while afterwards!)

So, thankfully, we escaped this episode of Mommy's stupidity unscathed. I don't know that I will ever forget the image of his little body lying on the floor by the bed, or escape the horrible guilt that I feel for allowing it to happen!

I told my mom about the whole thing this afternoon, expecting more of a shocked or sad reaction from her, but she seemed completely unphased by it. "These things happen!" she said. What a great perspective, and helpful in assuaging some of my guilt. She then proceeded to tell me of my tumble down a flight of uncarpeted stairs when I was an infant. :) I also told Carol (one of my mom's best friends and a big part of my life for many years), and her response was shockingly calm as well. "Think of this as a milestone!" she said. Baby's first tumble from a bed- um, yeah, I think I will leave this one out of the baby book.

So there- it's out. Please don't judge me! I promise that I'm not that bad of a mom. If any of you other moms want to offer any stories of your children falling off of beds, couches, or any other raised areas, I'd be much comforted to hear them. :)

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Kate Wilke said...

Oh Erica! I wish I could say that you are alone and other mom never have accidents with their children - but it's just not so. I can't tell you how many times my kids have fallen from something I thought was stable for them. A few come to mind. (1) When Ben was 6 months old - he was sleeping in our bed w/us. He managed to turn around in the middle of the night and roll off the top of the bed. We didn't have a headboard and there was a crack between the wall and the bed. Luckily - he was asleep when he feel so the shock wasn't as bad. We felt horrible and apologized to him for weeks. (2) I was changing Will's diaper. He was on the changing table. He wasn't rolling - he was too fat to roll (so I thought). He was about 6 months as well. I stepped away to his closet (a few feet away) and he took a tumble off the changing table. He rolled sideways luckily and fell on his side and not his head. Again, I felt bad ... so very bad. I apologized to him for a few days. (3) Ben wanted to hold Andy when he was about 6 months old (keep in mind that Ben was just barely 5). He's holding him under his bottom (like Andy's sitting in a chair). Andy's facing me ... we are in the kitchen. Andy starts wobbling, Ben's not real steady. Andy takes a tumble sideways and hits his head on the cabinet and falls to the floor. I felt sad for Andy. Ben felt sad for Andy. We apologized for a few hours and then we realized accidents happen. Babies get bumps, bruises, and scrapes.

Forgive yourself Erica! This won't be the last time he falls, in fact there will be many. Your friend is right - It is a milestone for him. He apparently is about to crawl. Scooting means crawling... yea ELI! You are a great mom who has endured trials and strengths with your new family. You have come through shining and no matter how many times Eli gets a scrape or bumps his head - he will always think you are his hero!

We love you!