Friday, July 11, 2008

Can't Think of a Good Title

THANK YOU to those of you who have been so encouraging to me with regard to how I've been feeling lately as a new mom. It's been so good to be reminded that I'm not alone, that this time is only a season, and that I'm being prayed for! On recommendation from a friend (thanks, Carla!), I bought the "Ministry of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson and am finding time to read a little bit here and there. It is reminding me that Eli is my ministry and that what I'm doing is not meaningless, even though it seems that way after ten diaper changes, eight bottles, etc., etc., etc. I am learning!

I want to again ask for prayer for Eli. This week he has been having some stomach problems. We took him to the pediatrician yesterday, and they found trace amounts of blood in his stool. (Sorry to be gross!) The first course of action is for me to stop eating dairy, which passes into breast milk. He might just be having a lactose intolerance issue. If this doesn't work, we'll have to see a GI specialist to see what's going on. It might be something as simple as Eli needing to be on a highly specialized prescription formula that is easy for his little system to digest, or it might be something that requires some sort of "procedure," which really scares me. I am trying hard not to think the worst. I have known and been told from the beginning that premature babies have all kinds of little problems like this in the first two years of their lives, but it is still hard to deal with when it is MY baby. I hate that he's not feeling his best, and I hate the thought of him having to go to another specialist and go through more tests, etc. Will you join me in praying that the Lord just clears up his stomach/intestinal problems with His healing hand? I am asking the Lord once again for a miracle! He healed Eli's heart, and He is healing his lungs, and I'm asking Him to heal Eli's intestines, too. Thank you for praying with me!

On the bright side, Eli continues to gain weight really well! He broke the six-pound barrier yesterday- 6 pounds, 1 ounce! :) He's the sweetest baby- he has such a gentleness about him that I love. He's learning how to "coo," I think- I have heard him several times make a cooing noise, and it's exciting to see him develop!

It is hard for me not to compare him to other babies his age. Technically he is more than two months old, but gestationally he is only two weeks old. I have been told over and over that preemies develop along with their gestational age, not their true age, meaning that Eli will be about seven weeks behind developmentally until he is about two years old. I am trying to remember that he is right on track with his gestational age, but it is hard not to compare him with other babies who are his "true" age.

Yesterday a respiratory therapist came to the house, and there was some confusion about medical equipment, etc., so we had to just sit and wait on phone calls to be returned. While we waited, we talked for almost an hour! She's new to the area and really lonely and looking for a church, and it was such a blessing to be able to encourage her and minister to her. When she left she said, "We should go shopping tomorrow!" :) I am SO THANKFUL that the Lord gave me that opportunity to just be a friend to her. I have been feeling so isolated and really missing being able to minister to others, and it was so kind of God to bring this lady right to my house and to give us time to talk. God knows EXACTLY what we need and when we need it. He is so good.

I am so glad it's the weekend. I look forward all week to getting to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time- Eric does the middle-of-the-night feedings for me on the weekends! What a great husband and father! Really, Eli is a good sleeper. He goes to bed between 8 and 9pm and wakes up around midnight and again around 4am, then he's up for the day between 7 and 8am. When he wakes up in the night, he eats quickly and goes right back to sleep- I'm really thankful for that! I just wish he would go back to sleep after his 7am feeding. That's the hardest time to get up, and I always hope I can get him back to sleep after he eats so I can go back to bed! I change him, feed him, burp him, and then lay him against my chest, thinking, "Yes! He's asleep!" Then I'll look down and his BIG blue eyes are looking right up at me. It makes me laugh every morning. He just has the cutest wide-eyed look, and those morning eye-locking moments are the funniest thing to me. It's like he's saying, "So, what are we going to do today?" That's when I give up the hope of getting back into bed and go into the kitchen and get a cup of coffee instead. :)

I am so thankful to be Eli's mom! Even though it's been difficult in various ways, I feel like the Lord has given me a special assignment with Eli. He has special needs and requires special care, and it is a privilege to be the one that God entrusted these things to. I pray every day that I rise to the occasion and honor the Lord with the way I take care of the little blessing God has entrusted to me!


The White House said...

Hi Erica, It's Tyne... I don't know if you remember me. I will certainly be praying for Eli and his digestion issues. It was fun for me to read your blog. I remember being a first time mom of a newborn. It is so raw, and exhausting and lonely. I pray that the Lord gives you many more blue-eyed moments, followed by immediate long naps! Hang in there, it will be over in a second, and with each new babe, the newborn stage flies even faster.

Anonymous said...

Erica, I love reading your blog! Thanks for keeping us updated on Eli's progress. When I was reading I was thinking about Philippians 4. And how we can be certain that whatever God hands us in this season is "doable" because it is Christ who gives us strength! He is your strength! You are so awesome! And what a blessing to have Eric serving alongside you. Another thing I keep thinking is that Eli's life is for God's glory. Like that message I sent you awhile back with all the little analogies that remind me of the Lord... I keep thinking of stuff like that when I read your blog! May Eli's life count as pure glory for Jesus' name! Love!
Holly S.

Hi-d-Ho said...

What a beautiful outlook you have...I know many times, I let my sleep-deprived-selfishness get the best of what do I go back too? Psalm 127:3 "behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a REWARD!" Then I get back into 'ministry'...He is beautiful and we will continue to pray!