Thoughts

First a little venting, and then a little confession...

Monday's Doctor's Appointment: On Monday I took Eli to the pulmonologist for his monthly check-up. Everything was great with Eli. He is approaching the growth curve for his real age, which is amazing. Ten whole pounds! He's on the premature growth curve, but it will be quite a day when we can actually say, "He's in the xth percentile!" :) Anyway, the point is that I think they should make a new system for waiting in doctor's offices with infants. All moms know how difficult it can be to get out of the house with a baby who is fed, clothed, dry, and sleepy enough to not scream in the waiting room. I had accomplished just that, much to my pleasure and surprise! I drove to Presbyterian Hospital and Eli was sleeping. When we got to the waiting room he was happy. I knew I had about an hour and a half left of happiness, which should have been plenty for a quick doctor's visit.

Not so. I sat in the waiting room for AN HOUR. When we finally got called back, we sat in the exam room waiting for the doctor for THIRTY MINUTES. By this time Eli was starving and sleepy. I decided to go ahead and feed him in the room, but the sink didn't work to fill up Eli's bottle. The SINK. You know, where the doctors are supposed to wash their hands.

Anyway, I couldn't feed Eli, so we just paced the tiny room. He was an angel, not fussy at all and so sweet, even when the doctor finally came in and poked around on him. This lasted for all of seven minutes. An hour and a half of waiting for a 7-minute visit! To his credit, we really like this doctor and will continue to see him for all of Eli's respiratory issues, but still. So he leaves and says that the nurse will be "right back" with our treatment sheet, which we are not supposed to leave without. We wait for TWENTY MORE MINUTES for this nurse who is supposed to be "right back." AAAARRRG! And the treatment sheet? Basically a print-out of Eli's weight, height, and the instructions to "continue as we are doing." SO NOT WORTH A TWENTY MINUTE WAIT! And to make matters worse, I had just gotten my poor starving baby to sleep in his stroller when the nurse came back and gave us instructions in the loudest possible voice. Could she not see that Eli was asleep? Is she not a pediatric nurse that is supposed to be aware of the habits of little babies? Needless to say, Eli woke up. We managed to make it home without a major meltdown, but it was quite the afternoon.

So frustrating. It's one thing if you make an adult wait for two hours at a doctor's appointment. It's quite another to make an infant wait that long. I understand running late; I really do. But some sort of system should be devised where they at least call the patients and tell them to come an hour later to avoid all the waiting nonsense. Geez.

Growth Spurt: Eli is going through a growth spurt, apparently, because he is hungry much more often and wants to eat several times during the night. This, of course, is no fun for me, getting up with him at midnight, 2am, and 5am. I was all complain-y this week about it, but then I read this verse this morning in Proverbs 31...

"She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens." (15)

I was so convicted. I know that this is somewhat symbolic, but it is also probably quite literal for the time in which it was written. And it is still applicable today. (Don't you love the Word?) The verse doesn't say, "She begrudgingly drags herself out of bed and whines in her head while feeding her infant," which is what I've been doing. It doesn't say, "She complains about having little sleep because of rising while it is still night," which is what I've been doing. It does say that she willingly chooses to get out of bed before the sun even comes up to feed those that depend on her. And the Lord reminded me that it is my assignment, my mission right now to care for Eli. And that means doing all the fun stuff during the day, but it also means meeting all his needs at all hours of the night.

I can do this begrudgingly and with complaints, but how sinful that is, how much glory that robs of the Lord who designed motherhood to reflect, in part, the way that He cares for us as His children. How beautiful it would be if I would joyfully, gladly, willingly rise to care for the needs of my tiny son because I want to be faithful to the task set before me by the Lord who cares for all of my needs. I am praying for this kind of attitude and heart today, and for forgiveness for my bad attitude this week. I want to honor God in the way I care for Eli and to display to him and to others the heart of the Father in sacrificially tending to all that he needs, with a joyful heart, even at 2am.

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Life has been pretty "normal" around here lately, which I like. I am such a routine person (or 'anal person,' as some may say). :) Here are a few things that have been going on around here this week..

-I officially went back to work on Thursday! Yipes! I am SO THANKFUL for a job that is allowing me to go in to the office only one day a week. I have a few hours of work that I'll need to do from home each week, and then I am just supposed to be "available" for tech support as needed. I really enjoy what I do, and it is such a blessing to be able to be at home with Eli for 6 out of 7 days each week. And when I'm at work Eli is with Heather, who takes such good care of him. It was sad to leave him, and I thought about him all day long, but he did great, and this is how it needs to be until we win the lottery and have the financial luxury of me not having to work at all.

-I am becoming more adept at caring for multiple children. For several weeks now I've been keeping Heather's kids (Jacey, 2 yrs., and Cooper, 3 months) on Friday mornings. It's certainly a challenge, but I'm learning. And though there is a lot of crying (90% babies, 6% toddler, 4% Erica), I think everyone gets what they need (excepting a shower for me). I have newfound appreciation for mothers of multiple young children. And I'm thankful for this time that I have to bond with my niece and nephew!

-My grandparents are visiting from Pennsylvania. They're such wonderful people- my role models when it comes to prayer and a lifetime of faithfulness to the Lord. We've all been enjoying lots of family time, and my grandparents are loving their three new great-grandchildren.

And that's about all from our neck of the woods! The picture was taken at church today. Yes, I know we're all wearing blue and white- I'm corny like that.

Refreshed

Last Friday morning as my nephew was screaming, my neice was calling for my help, and my son was soaking all of us in spit-up, I said to Eli, "Mommy needs a break!" Thankfully, a break was coming right up!

This past weekend Eric took me to Austin for a long weekend to celebrate our first anniversary. My parents kept Eli for us. I missed him some (I cried when James Taylor's "Sweet Baby James" came up on the playlist because I always sing that lullabye to him), but not too much, because I knew he was in very good hands.

Eric and I stayed on Town Lake and went kayaking and swimming and took lots of long walks along the lake and around town and ate at some awesome restaraunts and slept A LOT. It was just so nice to be FREE for three whole days. We really enjoyed just being together and being outside, our favorite things.

And even though it's only been a year of marriage, it's been quite the year! :) From finding out three weeks after our wedding that we were pregnant to me being put on bed rest for almost two months to having Eli 7 weeks early and spending 6 weeks driving back and forth daily to the hospital to see him in the NICU to all the little health issues that he's had because of his prematurity... yeah, it's been some 12 months! :) But we wouldn't trade it for anything, and we are proud to say that we are more in love today than the day we got married.

Eric is my favorite person in the whole world- I can't imagine a better husband. I thank God every single day for the privilege of being his wife, and I pray that I can make him as happy as he makes me every single day. I am so thankful for the weekend that we got to spend celebrating our marriage.

And it was so wonderful to get to hug Eli again, to see his smiles, to hold that little tiny baby that has brought us so much joy this year. And after we put him to bed we ate the top of our wedding cake (still yummy, surprisingly) and opened a bottle of wine that we bought at the vineyard we stayed at outside of Seattle last year. It was a perfect first anniversary! We are very refreshed.

1930s Housewife Test

This is hilarious, found at The White House. Some of the questions on here are just plain ridiculous. Here are a few of my favorites...

Eats onions, radishes, or garlic before a date or going to bed?
Who can resist a big ol' radish right before bed? Nothing puts me to sleep faster.

Fails to sew on buttons or darn socks regularly?
Sadly, I can't even sew a button. Thankfully Eric loves me for more than my sewing abilities.

Gives husband shampoo or manicure?
What the heck? I think Eric would run away if I told him it was time for me to give him his manicure.

Keeps self dainty, perfumed, and feminine?
There are many days where "keeps self clothed" is about all I can manage.

Puts stockings to soak in wash basin?
Stockings? Wash basin?

Shoulder straps hang over arms or slip is uneven and shows?
Truly, a bra strap hanging off the shoulder calls into question the quality of a wife. Right on.

Slows up card game with chatter and gossip?
Guilty. Man, I can't seem to keep my mouth shut during my nightly poker tournaments.

Smokes in bed or has cigarette stained fingers?
Any old wives' remedies for getting off these stubborn cigarette stains?

Alright, now you try. Don't forget to link back to The White House.

72 As a 1930s wife, I am Superior Take the test!

4 Months

Eli was four months old yesterday! We went to the doctor and found out that he weighs 9 pounds, 8 ounces, which means that he is gaining more than an ounce a day! This sounds so silly to anyone with a "normal" baby, but for a preemie baby this is HUGE. He's had such a hard time gaining weight, so this is such a good thing for him.

He's as sweet and interactive as ever, talking up a storm to whoever will pay attention to him. I am so proud to be his mom. Here are a few things that I love about him...
-The way he sleeps with his arms above his head, like he's surrendering.
-His constant noisiness! Even when he's asleep he's making some sort of cute noise.
-How he loves his daddy.
-How interactive, attentive, and curious he is.

I could go on and on. :) What a JOY it is to be a mom. Getting pregnant with Eli was the biggest surprise of my life, but it has been the biggest blessing for sure. There is nothing better!


Our 2 pound, 13 ounce miracle.

Not Very Exciting

That's what this week has been. But I am HAPPY about that! After the eventful week we had last week with the hospital and pneumonia, etc., I will gladly take a boring week at home. The weather has made it so fun, too. Eli and I have been taking lots of walks together and enjoying the rain, the wind, and, finally today, the sun. Fall is in the air, and that makes me so excited! Pumpkin bread, mums, gourds, crotons (the plant, not the salad topping)... I'm a fall girl, for sure.

Eli went to the pediatrician this week for a post-hospital check up. He weighed 8 pounds, 15 ounces and is doing really well. The perk to this particular visit was that the nurse practicioner (Rocky- we love her) gave us $180 worth of free formula and medicine! This was such a blessing- just one of the many ways that God takes care of us. Eli's formula (specialty, hypo-allergenic stuff) costs $25 a can, and we go through at least 2 a week. And his medicine is $40 a month. I know that doesn't sound like much, but we're not exactly rolling in the dough around here!

Which brings me to my next topic... I have to go back to work next week. :( Only for one day a week, but still. It's not that I don't like work. I happen to LOVE my job. It's fun and interesting and I get to wear jeans and a big lab coat and do science-y stuff that feeds my nerdy inner self. And I LOVE that I have solid Christian bosses who have been so flexible with me during this entire pregnancy and first few months of Eli's life. I haven't worked since March, yet I am still their employee! I'm so grateful. And I think it will be good to get out of the house one day a week and use my brain for more than determining how many scoops of formula go into 4 ounces of water. And when my bosses told me way before Eli was born that they want me back after the baby is born, even if it's for just a day a week, I was overjoyed, thinking that I would want to work way more than just a measely day a week.

*Sappy mom alert*
That was before I met Eli. :) Now I can't stand the thought of leaving him! He will be with my sister all day, which is about the closest thing that you can get to me. Eli knows and loves her, and we're together all the time anyway. But still. To drop him off and drive away? I need to fill the cab of the truck with tissues that day, for sure.

I know I need to work one day a week, and I will probably get used to it really quickly. But it will be hard for me at first. Boo hoo.

On a happier note... Eli slept for almost 12 hours last night! In a row! Without waking up! We put him to bed at 7pm, and he finally woke up around 6:30am. It's crazy how much we sleepless moms long for a night of uninterrupted sleep, but then when it's offered to us, all we can do is worry! Maybe I just speak for myself. :) I bet I woke up a hundred times last night worrying about him- "Why isn't he awake?" "Doesn't he want to eat?" "Is he breathing?" I checked on him at least 10 times. Literally. Finally, at 4:30am, I couldn't stand it any more and I picked him up. You know, to check for diseases and sky-high fevers and spider bites. All the potential night-time dangers that might befall my infant as he sleeps in his crib at night. I tried to wake him up to eat, but I could barely get an ounce down him, and I gave up and let us both sleep. At 6:30am he woke up his normal, happy self, and a smile slowly crept over my tired face... could it be that Eli is now beginning to sleep through the night? Dare I say it aloud? Tonight will be the test. I think I will take some Tylenol PM. Maybe that way I'll only wake up 27 times to check on him.

P.S. What do you call it when you bang fists with someone? Bumps? My street lingo is a little rusty. Anyway, I love the picture above because it looks like Eli is trying to give "bumps" (or whatever you call it) to the camera. He's cool like that.

Labor Day

I always kind of wanted to go into labor on Labor Day. How apt would that be? Anyway, here is a fun little meme that came from The White House, originally from Rocks in My Dryer.

How long were your labors?
I've only had one, and it thankfully wasn't that long- 14 hours. (Though even a minute of labor feels like an eternity when you're the one in it!)

How did you know you were in labor?
I knew something was up when they put gel on my cervix, started pitocin, and broke my water. :)

Where did you deliver?
Baylor Hospital in Dallas. I am so thankful that we live here in Dallas, because Baylor has one of the best NICUs in the world, which we needed for our little preemie!

Drugs?
I wanted to go au-naturale and was doing pretty well until the doctor came in after 12 hours of hard contractions and told me I was only 4cm dilated. I gave up and joyfully accepted that huge needle in my spine! :) Eric almost passed out during it. :)

C-Section?
Yes. Since I was a high-risk pregnancy they didn't want to allow labor to go on for too long, for both my sake and the baby's. And when Eli's heart rate started to drop, they had him out of me in about 10 minutes.

Who delivered?
My wonderful OB/GYN. With the pregnancy complications, I saw him at least twice a week for the last two months of my 7-month pregnancy. He feels like a member of our family now. :)

Labor is one of those things that is super-easy to complain about (and rightfully so! It HURTS!). But when it comes right down to it, pretty much every mom in the world would go through 100 times worse just to get the precious reward at the end. They're worth it all!