Thoughts

First a little venting, and then a little confession...

Monday's Doctor's Appointment: On Monday I took Eli to the pulmonologist for his monthly check-up. Everything was great with Eli. He is approaching the growth curve for his real age, which is amazing. Ten whole pounds! He's on the premature growth curve, but it will be quite a day when we can actually say, "He's in the xth percentile!" :) Anyway, the point is that I think they should make a new system for waiting in doctor's offices with infants. All moms know how difficult it can be to get out of the house with a baby who is fed, clothed, dry, and sleepy enough to not scream in the waiting room. I had accomplished just that, much to my pleasure and surprise! I drove to Presbyterian Hospital and Eli was sleeping. When we got to the waiting room he was happy. I knew I had about an hour and a half left of happiness, which should have been plenty for a quick doctor's visit.

Not so. I sat in the waiting room for AN HOUR. When we finally got called back, we sat in the exam room waiting for the doctor for THIRTY MINUTES. By this time Eli was starving and sleepy. I decided to go ahead and feed him in the room, but the sink didn't work to fill up Eli's bottle. The SINK. You know, where the doctors are supposed to wash their hands.

Anyway, I couldn't feed Eli, so we just paced the tiny room. He was an angel, not fussy at all and so sweet, even when the doctor finally came in and poked around on him. This lasted for all of seven minutes. An hour and a half of waiting for a 7-minute visit! To his credit, we really like this doctor and will continue to see him for all of Eli's respiratory issues, but still. So he leaves and says that the nurse will be "right back" with our treatment sheet, which we are not supposed to leave without. We wait for TWENTY MORE MINUTES for this nurse who is supposed to be "right back." AAAARRRG! And the treatment sheet? Basically a print-out of Eli's weight, height, and the instructions to "continue as we are doing." SO NOT WORTH A TWENTY MINUTE WAIT! And to make matters worse, I had just gotten my poor starving baby to sleep in his stroller when the nurse came back and gave us instructions in the loudest possible voice. Could she not see that Eli was asleep? Is she not a pediatric nurse that is supposed to be aware of the habits of little babies? Needless to say, Eli woke up. We managed to make it home without a major meltdown, but it was quite the afternoon.

So frustrating. It's one thing if you make an adult wait for two hours at a doctor's appointment. It's quite another to make an infant wait that long. I understand running late; I really do. But some sort of system should be devised where they at least call the patients and tell them to come an hour later to avoid all the waiting nonsense. Geez.

Growth Spurt: Eli is going through a growth spurt, apparently, because he is hungry much more often and wants to eat several times during the night. This, of course, is no fun for me, getting up with him at midnight, 2am, and 5am. I was all complain-y this week about it, but then I read this verse this morning in Proverbs 31...

"She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens." (15)

I was so convicted. I know that this is somewhat symbolic, but it is also probably quite literal for the time in which it was written. And it is still applicable today. (Don't you love the Word?) The verse doesn't say, "She begrudgingly drags herself out of bed and whines in her head while feeding her infant," which is what I've been doing. It doesn't say, "She complains about having little sleep because of rising while it is still night," which is what I've been doing. It does say that she willingly chooses to get out of bed before the sun even comes up to feed those that depend on her. And the Lord reminded me that it is my assignment, my mission right now to care for Eli. And that means doing all the fun stuff during the day, but it also means meeting all his needs at all hours of the night.

I can do this begrudgingly and with complaints, but how sinful that is, how much glory that robs of the Lord who designed motherhood to reflect, in part, the way that He cares for us as His children. How beautiful it would be if I would joyfully, gladly, willingly rise to care for the needs of my tiny son because I want to be faithful to the task set before me by the Lord who cares for all of my needs. I am praying for this kind of attitude and heart today, and for forgiveness for my bad attitude this week. I want to honor God in the way I care for Eli and to display to him and to others the heart of the Father in sacrificially tending to all that he needs, with a joyful heart, even at 2am.